December 29, 2004

It's a conspiracy...

My internet is going so unbelievably slow. I think Bellsouth does this on purpose. Back when I first got the service my connection never dragged. I bet if I took their speed test right now my download would be at 200kbps instead of the 1.4Mbps it should be at. Each time that happens I have to restart my router. I think it's a bunch of crap. I wish like hell I could get cable or something. Bellsouth is killing me. It's bad enough my phone + dsl bill is 100 dollars a month. It's ridiculous. The phone bill by itself is 65 fucking dollars. The plan I'm on says it's 35 bucks a month but after all the regulatory fees and shit are added on it, it's twice as much. That doesn't make sense to me. There has to be some way for people to have dsl and not even need a god damn phone. I could probably subscribe to one of those voip services. I would come out a helluva lot cheaper, that's for damn sure. I think I might have to really look into that...

I installed a blacklist plug-in for movable type. I wasn't going to do it. I had tried installing it yesterday and it wouldn't work right so I just deleted the files and said fuck it. I was seriously annoyed that I couldn't get it to work. It installed fine and everything, but I couldn't actually import the blacklist. Something told me to import sections of it at a time and then it finally wanted to work. I don't know what was up with that but I'm glad it's working at all. Now, if I could only get motivated to changing how this blog looks. It's pretty much the default install except the background that I made. It's supposed to be go stones and not black and white polka dots in case anybody is wondering.

My sister says she's coming down here for a couple of days. She says she'll either be leaving out Thursday and get here early Friday or she will leave out Friday and get here early Saturday. I haven't seen her in around 5 years now. I haven't seen my nephew since he was a toddler and he's 7 now so it should be fun. I need to clean my dusty ass room. I could probably plant crops in here. My brother was supposed to come over today. I need to deposit some money in my bank account. He said he'd come over but he didn't. He seriously makes me fucking sick. I hope like hell that I can get a decent job soon (one making more than 5.25 an hour anyways...) so that I don't have to depend on his dumb ass at all. I don't want to work but I'm going to have to do something. I can't stay a bum forever I guess *sigh*

I ran across another one of those find people sites, and my friend isn't on there. However, her brother Brian did register. They are even more fucked up than classmates though. You can't see announcements or jack shit unless you pay for a subscription. Big surprise. I don't, for a fact, know that you can see announcements on classmates since I haven't logged in on a fake account or anything to check but damn. I think it would be much more beneficial if they let you buy a temporary membership that would let you have premium access for a month. I am sure that they don't because they think people will just contact their friends that one time and then say screw it and not spend any more money. I don't think that's true, however. If they allowed month by month memberships they would get a much more loyal following. Sure, everybody and their grandmother has signed up to the site, but how many are actually going to pay a god damn year subscription.

Posted by Ryo-ohki at 05:16 PM | Comments (0)

December 28, 2004


God, why are these people EVERYWHERE. I can't stand when assholes post comment spams for some shitty website. I have 99 spam comments that I have to fucking delete ONE BY ONE. Whoever is doing this needs to die. I suppose I could turn off comments altogether but that idea sucks too. I don't get many comments from people but I have gotten a few every now and again. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to tolerate it. What really pisses me off though, is that not only are these spam messages from the same day, they are on almost ALL of my blog entries.

I had a pretty shitty Christmas. Its always that way though. I never get anything from any of my crappy relatives. Not that I was expecting anything. My mom's aunt has been calling here. Saying that she wants her to move down there to Florida. My mom is wondering if I'll go down there with her, because she's definately going. Her aunt says she'll help her get a place to stay and what not and get her situated. I seriously doubt this. The last time we went down there, she was saying the same shit. We had to leave and come back to Columbus 8 days later. The bullshit excuse we got was that her boyfriend, who had murdered her husband..., is getting out of prison and she's going to take him and her daughter's kids that she's got custody of to Disney World. What kind of shit is that. You actually think a person like that will make good on a promise to you? Better get real.

My brother is steadily pissing me off. He had almost 8 grand in his bank account. He didn't want to share any of it with me. He has around 2 grand of it left. He could have helped me get a car or something. Hell, I would have appreciated it if he would have given me 200 bucks so I can get another hard drive. He's spending his money on electronics and shit that he doesn't need. Lord knows what else he got that I haven't even seen. Oh well though, it's his money. He can do whatever the hell he wants to do with it. But that's pretty low down of him. He could have at least taken me shopping to get some clothes or something like that. Inconsiderate bastard.

Posted by Ryo-ohki at 06:25 PM | Comments (0)

December 17, 2004

just like I thought

My mother never disappoints me. Why am I not surprised. She did just what I thought she did. She has NO money left. She says she ordered some books and some tapes with it but she didn't smoke it all up. C'mon, you order through book clubs you are only going to spend a couple of bucks. Probably under 20. So what about the other 80? She must think I'm retarded but I'm not going to worry about it. No reason to. It pisses me off that she didn't even consider helping pay something next month but nothing I can do about that. On to other things...

Even though its been a little cold, I've always had the fan on. I turned it off the other day for the first time in months and now it refuses to turn back on. It has apparently had a heart attack of some kind. I hate that. I hate having to spend money on anything but I NEED another fan. I wonder if my brother will buy me one and bring it over here. That would be good bleh.

I finally got a perm for my hair. I haven't done it in 5 or 6 months so it was really retarded. I got some jumbo plastic curlers and some small ones. I can't use the small ones though. Instead of getting smooth rollers they have little barbs on them. I tried putting one in my hair and had to rip the thing out. I lost an inch of hair lol. I was like shit. My mom says she can use them fine so she can have the damn things.

Posted by Ryo-ohki at 11:41 AM | Comments (0)

December 12, 2004

if only the classmate website were useful...

I signed up to a LONG time ago. I have probably been purged from their database by now since it's been so long since I last logged in. I just registered for a new account. I'm looking for an old friend of mine. Her name is Alicia Fisher. If she's the same person listed on there, she's probably married by now. One of the profiles had a different last name with Fisher in parenthesis and this person also went to the same middle school I went to so I'm hopeful. I think the site lets people at least see other people's announcements without being a gold member. I put the url to my blog in it, I had to put something like sounanda[dot]com since classmates is lame and don't like links apparently. I hope to be able to see her again one day. She was my only good friend through middle and highschool. I was so sad to not be able to stay in contact with her. I think that it's been 8 or 9 years since I last heard from her. We were both kids. Seems so strange to be an adult now. She seems to have advanced in her life and I'm still going nowhere fast *sigh*. That's my own fault though, since I'm a lazy bastard. Someone needs to make a site like classmates, only that takes donations instead of forcing people to pay that's so mean but whatever I guess. Don't know, I'd pay for it if I had the money lol but I'm flat broke so hahaha.

Posted by Ryo-ohki at 10:19 AM | Comments (0)

December 10, 2004

why is my brother so stupid?

He seriously is an idiot. He gave me 100 dollars. He gave my mom 100 as well. He told her 'you better not smoke that up with your friends' and she just smiled at him and was like you know I won't do that. Is he serious? If you tell a fish to get out of the ocean do you think that it will? Of course not. It will swim on and you just sit there lookin like a jackass. What he should have done was just take her to the store and let her buy shit that she wants until she spent it up. At least she'd have something to show for it. Me, on the other hand, I won't be able to enjoy the 100 he gave me at all because I have bills to pay. Do you think it even flashed across her mind to pay on at least part of a bill with her money? Of course not...I have half a mind to fucking spend this 100 and the 50 my dad sent me on myself and say fuck everything else. That won't keep my lights on mind you, but at least I'll have enjoyed something for a change. Sad that I haven't spent anything on myself in years and I'm only 24. I always have to scrape to pay bills and have nothing but stress while my mom gets to act like she's stressed out because of the bills but guess what? YOU DON'T FUCKING PAY ANY OF THE BILLS SO WHY ARE YOU WORRYING ABOUT THEM??? GO SIT DOWN SOMEWHERE AND ENJOY YOUR CRACK PIPE AND STOP ACTING LIKE YOU GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ME AND MY HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE AND THE FACT THAT I'M AN INCH AWAY FROM A STROKE BECAUSE YOU NEVER FUCKING HELP ME AND YOU'RE ALWAYS FUCKING ME OVER. KTHXBYE.

Posted by Ryo-ohki at 10:22 PM | Comments (1)

December 09, 2004

I have a bad feeling...

Lately my mom has started knocking when she comes into my room. I asked her since when did she start knocking and she gave some lame excuse of it becoming a new habit. This seriously worries me because she NEVER knocks despite my repeated requests that she do so before entering into my room. The only reason I think she'd be knocking is because she walked in on me masturbating and she actually realized that's what I was doing. I was under the covers and laying on my back but it was probably the sudden movements when she opened the door that tipped her off that I was doing something other than laying down. When I think about it, it makes me feel so embarassed. This is one of the reasons why I hate not living alone o.O

On another note I got the letter from my dad today. It was a check for 50 bucks. What the fuck am I supposed to do with 50 dollars when I need 100? He usually sends me at least that much. I'm going to chew him out when he calls. My sister called me today. She was asking about how much it would take to get the cable turned on and what not so she won't be bored when she comes down for christmas. I told her that my dad called and I told him that she wanted to talk to him and that he said he doesn't want anyone having his phone number but if I gave him her phone number he'd call. As far as she knows I don't really talk to him much and I don't actually have his number -- which is really a lie considering he calls here every other day or so but not much this week who knows why but I really don't care anyway. She said she'd think about it. I can't blame her. I'd want to be the one that calls to talk on my own terms. I'm going to tell him that the next time I talk to him. It sort of makes me feel bad that I can't give her his phone number because she's my sister and I care about her. Especially since I don't really give a shit about him but he has helped me out occasinally despite how he use to be in the past. My mom annoys me so bad. I was on the phone downstairs and she was in the kitchen cooking when my sis called and heard us talking. She was like 'don't you have your dad's cell phone number?'. When she KNOWS that I tell my sis we aren't even talking and I told her I don't have his current number. She makes me so fucking sick when she sticks her nose into my business. My mom gave me some pissy lecture about how I should have given her his number anyway and I told her to shut the fuck up since it's none of her business and she was like well we're family and I hate all these lies and I said so what, you didn't want to get involved when your son was fucking other women -- in my god damn apartment no less -- when he's married to this other poor girl who's having his baby so why the fuck are you lecturing me about giving someone someone else's god damn phone number. Family or not I'm not going to do that shit without permission. Pisses me off to even think of it.

Posted by Ryo-ohki at 09:59 PM | Comments (0)

December 08, 2004

Christmas approaching

I have no idea what the hell I'm going to do for the Christmas holidays. More than likely I won't be doing anything at all. Just watch some anime like I always do. I did want to go out to California to visit relatives for Christmas but I still haven't gotten my shit together so I don't think I'll make it out there. My brother paid my entire DSL bill and my rent and he paid half of my lights. Wasn't that nice of him. He said he's not going to help me anymore though so oh well. My dad says he sent me some money. I'm currently waiting on it. Its probably 100 dollars or so, that's how much I needed for my light bill and he usually only sends me that much. I wish I could live without having any kind of job. I need to get a man instead or something lol. I don't want to work unless it's for myself and I can't think of anything good to do to go into business. I know my sister wants to start up her own home health business and she's going to school to get a business degree. I'm supposed to go back to do the same but I don't know if I really fucking feel like it. I need to do something, I'm just too damn lazy and can't get motivated. I'm not all that enthusiastic about going back to school anyways. I liked college and all for the most part but all that studying and shit. True, business courses should be a helluva lot easier than the computer engineering courses I was taking (thank god, I wouldn't be able to handle more maths and physics) but I don't know. I'm just not in the mood maybe. Anyway, more later I guess.

Posted by Ryo-ohki at 12:07 PM | Comments (0)